The T-shirt in my Cupboard

danni-archer

There’s a t-shirt in my cupboard that always brings back a certain memory, every time I see it or wear it.  I almost described it as a hurtful memory – but now, I’m not so sure that it is.  I think it is a memory of a slight lightbulb moment that I had, that spurred me on my journey towards self-love and better body image.

It was my first pub crawl, and I was 23 years old.  I had the pub crawl t-shirt, ready to go, but when I tried it on with a few different jeans, skirts, etc I realised nothing fit my properly.  I usually wore dresses when I went out because they “hid” my tummy better than jeans or shorts.

A younger version of myself would have cried that none of my pants fit, threw the t-shirt across the room and refused to go out.  A younger me probably would have stayed home and binged on ice-cream and chocolate and cookies.

But I was already starting on my journey towards better body image, so I thought “stuff it!” and I went to K-Mart and bought a pair of stretchy, comfortable pants in a size 12.  Problem solved!  I went home, got dressed in my new pants and my pub crawl t-shirt, and headed to my friends house to meet her.

There was that tiny little voice in my head that said I can’t believe you had to buy size 12 pants today, fatty but an even stronger voice was saying Who gives a crap, go out and have fun tonight!

So my friend and I are on the bus into town, and at some point in the conversation my friend pointed to a girl sitting in front of us, who had a size 12 tag poking out from the top of her dress.  And I’ll never forget the words she said:

“Oh my god, if I ever had to buy size 12 clothes I think I’d just kill myself”

Wow.  It felt like she was directing the words straight at me (even though I knew she wasn’t).  I immediately felt so much shame for wearing a size 12 that night, and so much guilt for allowing myself to get to that size.

I don’t remember if I even replied to my friend’s comment, but I do remember retracting inward and having a pretty full-on internal conversation with myself.  And after I recovered from the shock (and hurt) of what she had said, I flipped my perspective onto my friend.

And I thought about how sad her comment was.

How sad it was that she placed so much emphasis on being a certain size.

How sad it was that she felt the need to judge someone else for their size.

How sad it was that she had unintentionally hurt her friend, sitting right next to her.

How sad that she had bought into the media’s portrayal of women, and the idea that everyone should be the same size and shape.

And then, a little smile crept over my face.

Because I used to feel exactly the same way as my friend on that bus.  I used to focus on the scales, on the numbers, on the size of my clothes.  And while I was only at the beginning of my journey towards better body image and self-love, I smiled because I realised how far I had come.

I smiled because I realised how far I had come from that young girl who would have been at home right now, in her pyjamas, eating ice-cream and chocolate and cookies until she felt sick.

You see, learning to love yourself isn’t a linear path.  You have ups and downs, and you have moments where you fall back into old habits of guilt, shame and blame.  I still have moments now, when I feel less-than-adequate, or wish I had a different body shape so that I could wear a certain outfit.

But the moments don’t last very long these days, and they don’t end in me binge-eating at home and avoiding social situations.

And that pub crawl t-shirt?  I’m wearing it right now as I type this blog.  Every time I wear it, it reminds me of how far I’ve come, and how amazing it is to be able to love my body instead of hating it.

Which is exactly what I want for you.  Self-love.  Confidence.  Resilience from hurtful comments, and the determination to battle forward and take one step at a time towards a better body image.

And I’m here to guide you every step of the way.

 

 

P.S.  If you feel like food cravings are holding you back from staying consistent with your eating habits, click here to download my FREE food cravings guide.

P.P.S.  If you’d like to know more about how I help women reconnect with their bodies and heal their relationship with food (without guilt, or shame, or blame) you can click here to book a free intro session with me.

How to Create a Balanced Diet

danni-archer

A balanced diet – ahh, the elusive idea that most of us don’t really know how to implement.  Creating a balanced diet is something many people struggle with, and here’s my take on it.

I’m noticing a trend among my clients and friends lately, and that is the idea that healthy eating is either “all” or nothing at all.

Women are either eating 100% clean, unprocessed and nutritious food (making a real effort to be healthy – going “all in”).  And if they’re not doing that, then they’re eating whatever the heck they want because they might as well.

It’s like one week will be steel-cut oats and salads and steamed vegetables, and the next week will be white bread and sweet biscuits and dessert every single night.

The idea of balance is that it’s not a rollercoaster of “all” and “nothing”.  It’s not about giving up on trying to make healthy choices just because of one less-than-ideal day.  Or eating takeaway every night because you haven’t done the weekly grocery shop, so you might as well just wait til next week and start again.

You might have heard this cycle referred to as “being good” and “being bad”.  Or maybe you’ve used that wording yourself before.  I know that in my family, my mum and sisters and I will often say to each other:

“Are you being good, or do you wanna get {insert junk food here} for dinner?”

This goes so much further than labelling food as good and bad, which I really discourage anyway.  But labelling yourself as good or bad, depending on what you’re eating?  That’s next level mindset stuff.

So, I have an idea.  Why don’t we just go back to trying to make the best choices for our health on any single day, in any given moment.  Why don’t we stop stressing about whether or not our diets are perfect?

Why don’t we stop being “good” or “bad”, and just do the best we can?

Some days that might look like grilled salmon with oven-baked vegetables and a honey mustard dressing.  Other days that might look like a bagged salad with tinned tuna.  And that’s okay.  Neither of those is good or bad – it just comes down to the best choice you can make on any given day, in any given moment.

Balance isn’t hard to create – but it will require you to change some of the language you use around food and your diet.  Everything in moderation, and give yourself a break – you’re doing the very best you can do, and that’s enough right now.

 

 

P.S.  If you feel like food cravings are holding you back from staying consistent with your eating habits, click here to download my FREE food cravings guide.

P.P.S.  If you’d like to know more about how I help women reconnect with their bodies and heal their relationship with food, you can click here to book a free intro session via phone or video call.